Learning from everyone in the workplace

I once joined a professional organization with a diverse membership. We met weekly and discussed industry-related research. Every member sought to grow professionally; most attended at least one yearly conference hosted by the organization so the members grew pretty close. But one of the members drove me nuts, honestly (isn’t that always the case?) She arrived late, laughed hysterically at inappropriate moments, and insisted on interrupting people. When she shared information, it didn’t seem to add value or substance. I whined to my mentor, who was a fellow member. She turned to me and smiled.

“Bethany, you learn something from everyone. You either learn who you want to be or who you don’t want to be. I guess you’re learning who you don’t want to be.”

Ugh. YES. But I didn’t WANT to learn from her! I wanted her to go away. She didn’t.

But I did learn from her. For a few more years, I sat through meetings with the obnoxious woman, who continued to exhibit the same behaviors. Nothing changed about the woman’s behavior. The only thing that changed was my attitude toward her.


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It was a great lesson learned. I probably learned more from her than from many of the solid, professional, appropriate, timely, well-behaved members of the organization who had their ducks in a row. Now don’t get me wrong–I learned plenty from those people. We need excellent role models and mentors in the workplace. Without them, we’d have no idea how to behave appropriately, how to carry ourselves through crises, how to prevent and manage workplace conflicts, how to handle harassment and other touchy situations, and how to seek promotions without steamrolling others along the way. By all means, we need great leaders and strong colleagues who have it all together.

But we need to learn from our colleagues who are barely making it, too. We need those people who have so many personal problems that they’re doing well just to show up to work an hour late, hair disheveled, tear-stained mascara across her cheeks. We need the colleagues in the cubicles next to us who take 10 phone calls per day from their elderly parents with dementia. We need the supervisor who is a micromanager, unable to let go of counting every single bean. We need the one who simply cannot stop telling crude jokes (and gets himself fired as a result–please, dear God).

We need those people because we learn our best and hardest lessons–often gaining soft skills–from the people who are most intolerable, most obnoxious, most needy, and most broken. Do you know how I learned how to communicate competently in difficult situations? By working in difficult situations, time after time, with very difficult people. Want to know how I learned how to prevent conflicts while interacting with volatile people? By working with emotionally disturbed teenagers with criminal backgrounds and a history of abuse.

We often do not choose to learn difficult lessons in difficult moments and situations. But when we find ourselves in tough situations, we have a choice. We can let those situations make us better or bitter, as the saying goes. We can either learn and grow through the situation, or we can whine, complain, and claw our way out as quickly as possible, refusing to accept that there may be anything we could possibly learn from the people and conflicts surrounding us.

I’m not suggesting you should wallow in suffering or willingly expose yourself to demeaning, inappropriate, or dangerous situations at work. If you find yourself in a hostile work situation, fraught with harassment, bullying, or conflict, you ought to immediately take appropriate action (whether that means contacting your human resources director, filing a legal complaint, filing a police report, or searching for a new job). But if you’re just feeling disgruntled or miserable because you don’t like the people you work with, or you find that a few of your colleagues or supervisors rub you the wrong way, or you’re not fully appreciated in the workplace, perhaps there’s something you can learn or gain.

Remember that obnoxious woman I dealt with in the professional organization? She never quit attending organizational meetings. She even attended conferences with us. She never changed. But my attitude toward her evolved. I stopped expecting her to change, and over time, that helped me see her in a softer light.

Most importantly, I learned deep lessons: acceptance, tolerance, patience, and compassion for a woman who had some significant personal struggles.  Hear this: I didn’t have to like her, and I never did. Her struggles didn’t excuse her professional pitfalls. But extending kindness to her didn’t harm either of us. And offering a simple prayer on her behalf didn’t hurt me either.

What are you learning from your most difficult colleagues (or supervisors)? What are they learning from YOU?

If your organization needs a speaker/presenter on workplace communication or other soft skill, reach out to me to discuss scheduling.

Writing your resume for the first time?

pexels-photoThere’s a lot of information available for working professionals who are revising their resumes for the hundredth time. But what about working professionals who have never created a resume? Can someone make it through the world of work without a resume? Absolutely. There are such fortunates. I recently helped a client in his 60s create his very first resume.

Shut the front door, you say. I kid you not–this client’s work history was way more interesting than anything on television at this very moment, but he had never written any of it down. I got to hear about it over coffee. He has managed incredibly swanky establishments across the United States (the stories, the scandal, the excitement…). He’s led large teams of employees to staggering success. CEOs have sought him and begged him and paid him handsomely to relocate.

So why is he creating a resume NOW? He’s reinventing himself (he’s not the only one–why do you think so many retirees are pursuing new career paths or considering gigs and part-time jobs?). He decided he wants to pursue a slightly different career path with a large corporation, and that corporation utilizes an applicant tracking system, requiring all candidates to apply online. Even though he’d already made a name for himself within the organization, he knew he would eventually need to formally apply online. He would have to upload a resume. And he didn’t have one because in the past, he earned jobs strictly based on who he is–his reputation spoke for itself.

So we started from scratch. I listened (that part was easy), took notes, and created a pretty amazing resume for this man. And he landed the job he wanted.

Whether you’re in my client’s boat, and you’ve got years of experience under your belt with no resume to show for it, or you’re in high school or college and hope to avoid this predicament altogether, here are a few tips if you’re writing your first resume.

  • If you haven’t been keeping a running list of your work experience, community involvement, and accomplishments, start keeping one. Use Word or Google Docs or something similar. Save it in more than one place and preferably save it in “the cloud.”

    Record everything. You won’t use everything on each resume you create/send when applying for jobs, but you want all details stored in one place. It will save you so much time when you fill out lengthy job applications or try to recall information about a position you held 10 years ago. Names of employers/supervisors, phone numbers and addresses of employers, copies of job descriptions… yes. All of that.

    And after you have a resume, don’t ever delete it and just revise it, updating as you go. Save every single version. You never know when you’ll want to revert back to a previous version, pull information from an older resume, etc. Same with cover letters.

  • Learn how to write a great resume. Read articles from reputable websites like Forbes, Inc, The Muse, and College Recruiter (there are others, but these are a few). Watch informational videos and webinars. Follow folks like me on social media. Take online courses if you like. If you’re a college student or graduate, reach out to your career services office for assistance. Attend those free resume writing workshops. If you don’t like what you hear or aren’t sure it’s great advice, take it a step further and consider paying someone to help you. You can hire a professional resume writer or career coach, like me, to help you write it. Some resume writers will do all the work for you. I suggest you don’t hire someone like this. What you need is someone who will work WITH YOU to create a fabulous resume.

    It might save you time now to let someone do every single thing for you, but in the long run, you will be back in the same “I don’t know what to do” boat. You need someone to teach you how to write and revise your own work and someone who’s a wordsmith and expert in career development and talent acquisition. It’s okay to work TOGETHER to create your resume. If the professional you hire asks you very few questions and doesn’t really collaborate with you while working on your resume, you can guarantee the finished product will probably not be a great reflection of the real you. And this is a problem. When you start interviewing, your resume will portray you a certain way, and you may or may not match that portrayal. Employers want you to be transparent during the hiring process.

  • Avoid templates. Do you hear me? For the love of your career, do not use a template. Here are all the reasons why. 

This should help you get started. If you need additional help creating or revising your resume, let me know.

 

 

 

Branding yourself in your best light

dirty laundry branding

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Transparency. Isn’t it lovely? Unless we’re talking about bra straps or Scotch tape, not necessarily. No one wants to see (or smell) your dirty laundry. I promise. While transparency certainly has its place in the world of business and marketing, it doesn’t translate well to personal and professional branding.

Why? We’re flawed. We all possess defective character traits. If we care about our colleagues, and we care about creating a positive impression on others, we spend all day long hiding those little flaws. We work to build better character traits. When we’re hungry, angry, lonely, tired, sad, or overwhelmed, we try to suck it up and carry on. We may let it all hang out the minute we walk in the door after work. We heat up a frozen pizza, throw on the sweats, and lean into the sofa with a beer and our dog. We have ourselves a good cry. But do we show it at work? Absolutely not.

Is this healthy? Are we all imposters? What in the world is wrong with us? Why can’t we just be ourselves in the workplace?

First of all, let me be clear. If you’re struggling to get out of bed every morning due to depression or anxiety, seek professional help from a counselor. If you’re so overwhelmed by stress in the workplace, and this topic is causing you neck pain, you may need to consider yoga (or a new career path altogether).

But most of us aren’t struggling with emotions or concerns which are extremely out of balance. We’re just trying to make it through the day. Some days are tougher than others.

branding best light

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How do you make it through those tough days without losing your cool and burning bridges with people at work–your professional network? How do you brand yourself in your best light on a regular basis? And is branding yourself in your best light really being honest with yourself and others?

Here are a few thoughts on branding yourself in your best light and the notion of transparency in the workplace.

  1. Don’t be transparent at work. Set appropriate boundaries. If you need to learn how to set appropriate boundaries, hire a professional counselor or therapist. Read the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. Don’t expect yourself to understand how to have positive, healthy relationships with coworkers if you’ve never had positive, healthy relationships with anyone else in your life. You cannot snap your fingers and gain this ability.
  2. Remember that you choose the brand you portray. A brand is simply your reputation. A reputation is built by choices you make. Choices include words and actions. Our words and actions are preceded by decisions. We make decisions all day long every single day.

    Did you know that decision-making is one of the most sought-after soft skills by employers? It’s true. If you brand yourself as level-headed, positive, kind, and thoughtful, you simultaneously brand yourself as someone capable of making good decisions on a regular basis.

  3. When you choose to showcase yourself in your best light–to bring your good stuff to work and share your struggles with only your closest friends, family members, and paid professional counselors–you are not being dishonest. You are being wise. You are behaving in a way which builds your self-esteem. You’re building dignity and confidence in the workplace. You’re giving yourself space from whatever problems you’re facing outside of work, allowing yourself to focus on work while you’re working. You are growing professionally.

    Here is how to brand yourself in your best light… Be the best version of yourself. Continually grow. Make choices you’re proud of on a daily basis. Develop your strengths and character assets. When you focus on developing your soft skills, strengths, and assets, guess what happens to your weaknesses and defects? They die of neglect.

    Your brand will begin to evolve as you evolve. Your brand is simply a moon. If you are working toward career fulfillment and toward becoming the best version of yourself, you’re going to be reflecting nothing but light–and branding becomes much easier.

 

If you need help developing a written branding statement, a bio, an elevator pitch, or a solid LinkedIn profile, reach out to me for help.

For more thoughts on branding yourself in your best light, check out this 3-minute video.

 

 

 

 

When is it time to change careers?

New year, new you. Out with the old; in with the new. Make a brand new start. Or how about one of my favorites, “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream” (C.S. Lewis). When New Year’s rolls around, we often find ourselves contemplating change. What type of change are you considering this year? Buying/selling a home. Relocating. Losing weight. Exercising more often. Traveling. Finding the man of our dreams (and marrying him). Getting pregnant. Adopting a puppy. What about a career change or new job?

model-2614569_1280It’s natural to set goals, make resolutions, and fine-tune our life’s focus in January. Part of that fine tuning for many of us involves initiating a job search. For some, it involves changing careers and embarking an exciting career adventure.

How do you know if you’re really ready to search for a job or change career paths?

Assessing your level of career contentment

When I work with clients who are contemplating a career change, we start by assessing their current level of contentment at work. Are you happy to arrive at work most mornings? Do you hit snooze and feel anxious or depressed about the workplace? How long have you felt dissatisfied with your job? When you attend work events, do you network with others or stay for 10 minutes before escaping? Do you live for the weekend? Are you excited about your current projects and tasks? Do you share your excitement with your friends/family? Or do you complain about the problems at work instead?

Checking our level of contentment is important. We have to evaluate a) how we truly feel about our jobs/careers, and b) why we might feel that way. Sometimes clients find that the problem lies within themselves. Maybe they’re struggling with stress at home, and it’s bleeding over into the workplace. Some of my clients chose a career path for all the wrong reasons to begin with and feel stuck. I’ve even referred clients to counselors if we discover there’s nothing wrong at work, and they just need some overall wellness help.

When you discover your career contentment level is low

I once found myself working in a corporate job, earning more money than I’d ever earned before in my life. The workplace was pretty upbeat, and the dress code was very casual. The expectations were reasonable. My colleagues were friendly and fun. So what was the problem? I just didn’t enjoy my tasks. I chose the job based on earning potential, not fulfillment potential. And I wanted to live closer to my husband (who was my boyfriend at that time).

Once I’d identified that I was dissatisfied at work, I examined whether I could change aspects of the job or my attitude. I worked diligently to find things to be grateful for at work, and that helped the days go by faster. But there wasn’t much I could do to alter other aspects of the job. I couldn’t force myself to love the nature of the job. And I couldn’t relocate the company or work remotely. My husband couldn’t relocate because he owned a business in a different region.

Taking action and making career decisions

What should I do next? Once I’d established that I either had to accept the job and continue doing it or search for a new one, I went through my normal decision-making process.

During my time of reflection, talking to my mentor, and praying about the decision, I saw the solution clearly. I decided to send a message to several friends living near my husband. I asked for their help in finding employment. And I waited and prayed.

Less than 24 hours later, one of my friends, someone I’d known for years, responded and offered me a job. He warned me that the position didn’t pay very well. But he also gave me the option to accept the job temporarily while searching for more gainful employment. I saw this as a clear sign to move forward and make the change. I accepted the position after a phone interview and gave a two-week notice at work. By Christmas, I was on my way to relocating and interviewing for other jobs while working in a temporary job.

The next step

I’m not trying to tell you that if you click your heels and make a wish—or say a prayer—your dream job will fall in your lap. But I am trying to share a career discovery and decision-making process that has worked pretty well for me. Take the right steps and remain action-oriented. But don’t forget to follow your gut at the end of the day. If a big paycheck isn’t satisfying you, that’s okay. Can you make lifestyle adjustments to lower your standard of living? If you used to love serving others as a teacher, but you feel exhausted in every way, it’s okay. What other careers interest you? Do you have transferable skills?

We can talk one-on-one about your current feelings about work. And we can develop a plan of action for the coming year. Reach out to me for help if you’re ready to get to work and find career fulfillment.

How to take productive breaks

In my twenties and into my early thirties, I repeatedly heard this from supervisors, more experienced colleagues, and authors: “Show up early, stay late, and dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” I took that advice to heart. Almost daily, I arrived early and stayed late, even though no one around me did so. You don’t want to know how much I spent on my work wardrobe. I was the poster child for going above and beyond. I utilized LinkedIn and Facebook like crazy immediately after they hit the internet. My goal was to prove myself a productive, passionate employee. I knew employers were looking for productive employees. This soft skill is consistently ranked near the top of employers’ preferred soft skills lists.

stress-2860034_1280I killed it at work and consistently set and exceeded goals, created successful new programs, and found solutions to organizational problems. But my work-life balance was a joke. A true workaholic, I found myself wallowing in work rather than living a life of my own. My relationships suffered, and my health did, too. I found that the more I worked, the less productive I became. The more I worked, the less I cared about the purpose/mission which used to drive me to succeed. The more I worked, the more discontent I felt.

Over time, I learned to strike a better balance. I left work at work and discovered my own interests aside from my career. More importantly, I maintained a high level of career success while living my own life. I could simultaneously be productive and feel well. One of many ways I struck this balance was by learning to take more breaks at work. Sounds ironic, doesn’t it? How does taking breaks help you become more productive?

Get up and move.

Sitting in a chair kills your back. This isn’t new news. Many companies now offer employees standing or convertible desks or at least more ergonomically correct desks. But most of us still find ourselves seated while working if we work traditional desk jobs. You have to give your body a break if you expect it to perform all day long. Stand up and stretch. Break out some  yoga poses. Fit in three sets of squats or crunches in a few minutes’ time. Walk around the office, to the restroom, or to the fridge to get a bottle of water. Whatever you do, don’t sit still for longer than an hour without changing your body position for at least a few minutes.

When we get up and move, we come back to our desks ready to work again and feel more productive and focused and less tense.

Go outside.

There’s no shortage of research indicating benefits related to experiencing nature and breathing fresh air. Want to be more productive, less stressed, and healthier? Spend a little time outdoors each day at work. You don’t have to work from home in the woods to reap these benefits. Go out on the balcony and absorb some sunlight for a few moments while making a phone call. Meditate on the flower bed for a few moments. Walk outside with a coworker for 10 minutes twice a day. Then go back to work renewed, invigorated, and more productive.

Laugh.

When I’m working on something dead serious or conflict-ridden, I need a mental and emotional break. Why not spend a few moments recording a silly video of yourself for your child? You’ll build your relationship while letting yourself unwind. Read a Laffy Taffy joke. Look at a few photos you keep on your phone of fun moments with your friends and family. Play a quick game of hacky sack with a colleague. You’ll both get a little exercise while looking ridiculous and build your friendship, too. It’s healthy to be happy, and happy workers are productive.

Take a nap.

Yes. I said it. A NAP. When I worked as a full-time faculty member, I purchased a reclining rocker for my office. It served two purposes: it eased my back while grading, and it provided a perfect resting spot mid-day. I’ve never been one to fall asleep when I rest or nap. But if I close my eyes, get still and quiet, and pray or meditate for even five minutes, I feel less groggy and more productive.

Don’t have a reclining rocker? Rest your head atop your arms on your desk for a few moments. Walk to your car and recline your seat. Always set a timer in case you’re tired enough to fall asleep. Resting during your lunch break may be a good option if your employer frowns upon mini breaks at your desk.

Coffee.

20170729_165639A few cups of coffee a day won’t hurt you (unless your doctor says otherwise). If coffee’s not your thing, find another hot drink you love. The point is to relax, sit still, and enjoy something simple without trying to multi-task and answer emails, too. It’s hard to remain tense after spending a few minutes sipping a hot cup of coffee or tea in a quiet space. Or take a coffee break with your mentor, colleague, or business associate.

Get inspired.

Read one page of inspirational literature. Keep a daily reader or devotional book at your desk or bookmark blogs you find motivational and inspirational. This feeds your spirit and gives your mind a fresh focus on positive content.

Reach out.

Take a break to network with your colleagues, friends, mentors, or family members. You’ll feel less isolated and do good to others at the same time. Send a message to someone struggling to ask how she’s doing. Chat with a colleague about a big project. Send thank you cards to a few people who’ve helped you recently.

Get grateful.

Create a short gratitude list every day during one of your breaks. Keep it in a journal or Google doc so you can reflect on better moments when times are tough. Thinking about blessings distracts us from problems at work. A positive distraction can help us revisit the problem with renewed determination to find a solution.

Need help striking a better work-life balance? Want to teach your employees or students to be more productive? I can help.

 

Why reflecting on past work experience helps us make better career choices

We only learn from the past if we reflect on the past. This is true in every area of life, and our career journeys are no exception. Recently I reflected on which three job roles/work experiences best prepared me for my role as a career coach/entrepreneur. I also contemplated which job experiences I enjoyed most and why.

People Looking Choosing at Colleagues PhotoI only had time to discuss my three favorite/best jobs. There have been many more. I believe none of our work experience is wasted. Even jobs I held for a short time taught me crucial soft skills, including conflict management and problem-solving strategies. When I had to quit an interim director’s position for a non-profit due to a hostile work environment, I learned big lessons. I learned how to stand up for myself at work, to carry myself with grace and dignity, and how to discern red flags during the interview process.

Did you know that even the most boring work experience prepared me for future roles? Although I didn’t love technical writing, that experience helped me revise and edit well, and I’ve used that skill as an English faculty member and as a content manager. I also rely on my own writing skills when producing content for my career coaching business.

And that one-year gig in software sales? Absolutely helps me during free consultations, when producing content, and when reaching out to my network to drum up referrals.

It’s so important that we reflect on our previous jobs before leaping forward with our job search or making a big career change. Why? If we don’t, we’re doomed to repeat our own mistakes. We may not identify red flags as truly red during the hiring process. And we will work in professions which leave us feeling unfulfilled, depressed, and disgruntled.

Even though I don’t know you, I know you don’t want that for yourself. And I don’t want it for you.

Take time to reach out to me to schedule a free consultation. Simply spending 15-20 minutes on the phone with a career coach can help you uncover and discover many of your career desires and goals. I’ll walk you through a simple assessment of your career journey. We can talk about your own best and worst jobs. I will direct you to more career development assessment tools if necessary. And I’ll provide you with quality career development and job search tools as we work together.

What are you waiting for? Let’s get to work.

Before writing your resume, do this:

I often work with clients who want to jump right into writing a resume. I understand that desire because a resume is one of the most important tools in your job search and career development toolbox. Many clients are also skittish about spending too much time or money working with a career coach, and they assume working on their resume may be their first and final step to career success. Before you start writing your resume, make sure you’re truly ready. Don’t bypass key steps which will ensure a stronger resume.


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Before you even consider revising or creating a resume, you have to do one thing: define your career goals.

Get clear about why you’re unhappy with your current job or feeling motivated to change careers, seek a promotion, or switch jobs. If you don’t know the why, the “how” won’t help you in the end. Creating a solid resume is a pertinent part of your job search. But if you try to create a resume with no clear career direction in sight, your resume will, at best, be a generic list of your experience, qualifications, and accomplishments. It won’t include a concise professional summary because you must consider your career goals when writing a professional summary. It won’t feature keywords matching jobs you’re applying for, because you won’t know which jobs you hope to land. Because it lacks keywords and phrases matching the positions you’re applying for, you may not receive any offers for interviews because your resume will never make it past the ATS (applicant tracking system). And you’ll have to include all your experience rather than hand-picking which experiences best match the position you’re applying for.

Obviously this is a poor approach for resume writing. Instead, work with a career coach (or if you’re a college student, a career services professional on-campus) to define your career goals.

  1. In order to define your career goals, you might need to take some career assessments. Assessment tools can help clarify your interests, skills, personality type, and workplace preferences. Review your results with a career coach. Spending a few hours on career assessment can save you years of wasted time in a job you hate.
  2. Take a look at your branding efforts. Your brand is basically your reputation, both personally and professionally. How do others see you? Why not ask them? Ask three colleagues, former supervisors, fellow grads, or friends to tell you what they identify as your greatest strengths and weaknesses. Ask them what careers or jobs they imagine you would love and succeed in. This feedback—paired with your assessment results and personal reflections—can help you write an effective branding statement, bio, and elevator pitch. If you’re not a great writer, that’s okay. I have professional writing experience, and we can work on developing these pieces together.
  3. Reach out to me for a free consultation. Explain your job search snafus and career obstacles, and answer questions as honestly as possible. This brief conversation helps many of my clients to gain clarity and direction. It can also help identify which areas you need to improve most.

If you feel unclear about where you’re going—but know you don’t like where you are—taking these three steps can help point you in the right direction for you. Reach out to me to schedule a free consultation.